Scar

Can I know what have I done to make you treat me this way? What have I done wrong? Im trying my best already. What have I done to make myself deserving all of these shits? Sigh. This is not what I want. I thought things are getting better for me at first but not like this :/ Sometimes I just dont know what have I done to make myself deserving all these shits. Im only 17. & I've to go through all of these? Why can't I just be like a typical 17 years happy girl. Facing so much complication in my life right now. Kenn just asked me am I over him? Nope. I dont think so. I want to but I cant. Whatever Kenn told me was so goddamn true. I dont even think that I can be able to love one this deep anymore. You left a scar deep inside my heart and I'm very sure that it'll remain there forever. There's nothing that anyone can do to cover up that scar. Sigh. Do you know that because of you there's a scar on my wrist. & I'm tired of lying telling everyone that the scar was an accident. Do you know how pain is it to be like treated however the person that you deeply love want all the time. Im not your toy okay. Sighh. I dont know why after you played with my heart,you lied to me,every piece of shit that you have done to me,still I miss you finally. I miss your laughter,your voice,your touch,your lame jokes,your angry face... I dont know why am I crying right now.. Tears? Im so tired of all these friggin tears. Numb? I dont think so. Is this love or lust? Maybe I've learnt a lesson that I'll never forget. Baby,I miss you..I dont want to be without you my baby..I know I'm being a fool, a dumbo, an idoit, a brainless girl. God,what've I done? I just wanna be happy,I just want him to treat me nicely from his heart. Is that too much to ask for? I dont know. Why is everything so hard for me? Why is everything so unfair? I am pathetic. Cant even deal with my life. What the FARK is wrong with me. Im messing up with everything in my lifee:/ Sighh. I wish I'm dead by now! Really. Im still not over you. Brian,wake up! Save me :/ I dont have the guts and strength to face all of these anymore.

It's in white because my world is only left with black and white.

ps,never again will I let anyone in my heart again.

XOXO,

Giselle :(