Paradise In Hell ♥

2011-05-31T12:07:00.000-07:00

Malacca Trip (:

This is why I adore her <3

The KUNGFU PANDA, Yung (:

The wantansou, Samuel.

My bunny, ANN! (:

The act smart one, Shane (:

Timmy Time!

LingLing, my eating partner!

I'M BACK TO ROCK THE WORLD YOO PEOPLE!

Finally I'm having my semester break, like F-I-N-A-L-L-Y. Oh and I finally get to persuade my parents to allow me to transfer my program. I'm so glad that they finally understand the pressure and stress I went through while I was in CAT.

Anyways, I'm in MUFY right naoo! && the world is freaking small, cause yanling, one of my new classmate, happened to be like ev's and choochoo, and the subang people friend. Then, Ee Leng, the decent, nice and shy girl used to be in CAT too! heh. Ann, the hyper cute lil bunny-look-alike taiwanese is in a relationship with Yung, the pokerking daikor. We are somehow related in many sort of ways too! Then the one and only "The EEEKK Founder" Shane, the Singaporean a.k.a "the champion". His only favorite past time is tasting Korean Wine, He tastes it anytime anywhere (: Then Samuel, the tallest yet the childish-est among us. He has the typical Chinese look, but he's a major failure in Chinese, barely understand Chinese or Cantonese. Then the formal MUFY student, Tim. Which often reminds me of Timmy Time, my all time fave cartoon! Sadly, he had already transfer into A-levels, cause apparently MUFY don't have the subjects he want or smth like that. heh. There are still so many more, but these are the few that I'm close to.

There's so many things going on right now. There's seems to be confusion in every move I take, every decision I've made. Was I really honest when I said it? Maybe, partially, I don't know? Perhaps all I need is time, to seek what's beneath my heart.

ps, "I don't want to waste my time for waiting"

XOXO,

Giselle (:

2010-09-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

Stupid teacher's going to barred me and my bimbotic classmate, Melissa from our test :( G-A-H,why is she so mean. Is anyone out there nice enough to borrow us his dick during her class?

My dearest poor bubble got herself into an accident today :( I was so shocked when she called me, sobbing over the phone, telling me how afraid she was. Paoo, sowie if I got there late. You should know how much Mel and me love youu. Hehe! We were so glad that you are fine. Please don't drive manual anymore kayh! >

Sexy TPY,sowie I couldnt make it to your birthday dinner. I would love to attend but I've got moral assignments to finish. Happy birthday btw. Im really glad to know such a friend like you. You're always there whenever I need a friend to brag to :D Hehe! We shall celebrate together again soon kay. I love you! :D You're like my gay partner :p

Now you are the another thing that makes me paranoid.

I don't know what's wrong with me, & I dont want to know.
The more I know the more confused and messed up I'll be.
Everywhere I see, I see you.

You've no clue,no idea what's on my mind,
or maybe you know & you just pretend all the time.
Sometimes I even plan out what to say to you.
I think about you day after day.

I even remember the first time staring into your eyes,
& getting lost.
Million of sighs I've made after falling for you.
Yet I never once blame you.

I'm going to bed now, please appear in my dream,
because only in dreams, you know how I felt and you felt the same way too.
I wish I would just die in my dream, forever,
Having you next to me, forever.

ps,if only you feel the same way too.

XOXO,

Giselle :(

Goodbye Cookie

2010-09-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today a new adventure is starting for you my dear cookie,

I'd like to wish you all the best and all the luck I can give,

I know we'll get to meet again soon,I know.

Yes,I'm sad because you're part of me,

& now you're gone,everything'll be so different.

Since the first time I saw you,

I knew then you'd be my friend,my little brother.

You're miles away & I still think of you,

You'll always be deep in my heart.

May the sun rise up and meet you,

May the wind blew upon your furs,

May the stars shine upon your cheeks,

Everyday of your life.

I love you cookie,hope you're happy with the new owner.

Ill never forget you,same goes to your little family,

Diamond,Cherrie & Spongebob.

ps,the world is round and the place may seem the end maybe the beginning for you.

XOXO,

giselle :(

I Look At You,You Look At Her.

2010-08-19T05:29:00.001-07:00

Lying on my bed,helding my phone in my palm,

Wishing that it would just vibrate,saying one text message received,

But the more I wish,the more my phone remain silent.

What a mystery love this is,I thought I learned my lesson,

But I was wrong,so here am I again,

Noting down feelings that I must hide from him,

I wonder all day and night long,what does it means?

What does it means if he calls me everynight?

Nothing,he just wants to talk.

I wonder all day and night long,what does it means?

What does it means if he makes me laugh,

Nothing,I laugh because I'm happy whenever I'm around him.

Your presence consumes me,

I hold on to every single word you said,did you?

Your face,your smile,your voice.

I understand & I know,

reluctantly forcing myself to get over you,but failed.

Maybe everything its just merely lust.

I wonder again,what if you feel the same way too.

What if there's some chemistry between us,

Oh well,only in my dream,forever.

My dearest soul sister,Sue Zen,cheer up alright :) Your days will shine soon,I promise. Im always here to emo with youu :( Love youu.

ps,you're amazing just the way you are.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Once Upon A Time.

2010-07-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

Forever baby,our love will never die.

Would you please dont say a word yet and listen to my heart,

Would you please think back the time we first met,

The laughter we shared, the way you felt about me,

You really care once upon a time.

Would you please think the way you treated me now and how much i cried,

But please seal your lips first,I never ever lied,

Can you see my heart breaking into bits by bits,

You hate yourself when you see my cry once upon a time.

Would you please look at our position now and how much I've tried,

The pain was so deep,unbearable and painful,

Still I choose to keep to myself all these while,

You always want to know whats in my heart once upon a time.

You are always playing a special role in my heart,now and forever,

A part of my life that break my heart,and the one I choose not to hate,

You gave me memories that I will never ever forget,

You never forget about every single word I said once upon a time.

You are always my true love,now and forever,

You and I have something special that will never ever change,I know,

Because I love you and loving someone seems strange somehow.

You love me forever once upon a time.

Would you think Im being a little too foolish sometimes,

I hate you because I can't erase our memories,

But I dare not complain because Im afraid that you would walk away,

Still it pains me to say that We'll be together till the end,

You never leave me once upon a time.

Would you please not say a word,just listen to our hearts whisper,

We said forever,once upon a time,

& We'll live happily ever after because I have faith in US.

This is what you used to tell me once upon time:'' dear,close your eyes and imagine that we are sitting on a bench in the garden,hands in hands,watching the most beautiful sunset ever,and two of our kids running around with cookie,our chaochao dog.If our kid happen to be a boy,he'll be a basketball player and Ill train him. If our kid happen to be a girl,you'll have to teach her piano my dear.I love you sweetie,forever and ever,you and only you,please don't leave me''

Never once I forget that. I love you.

ps,maybe our relationship isnt as crazy as it seems && happy 4 years and 7 months anniversary dear. Look how far we've come.

XOXO,

Giselle :(

Here We Go Again

2010-07-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

Im falling fast down. I dont think if I can stay in this relationship anymore. Times and times I've been giving ways to you,yet times and times you broke me heart again and again. Im trying my very best. You want me to be this and that,and I thought you should love me for who I am ? Why cant you change? Why can't you make me more visible to you ?Why can't you respect me ? Why can't you appreciate me more ? Why can't you treat me better? Why can't you understand my feelings ? Why can't you just TRY! People,can I know if do you know any dumbfuck who let her boyfriend call her ugly and fat,screw her in the public,always lie to her && the best part is the dumbfuck enjoy being surrounded by all the lies,doesn't acknowledge her in front of his friends,the boyfriend always have plenty of money to go buy alcohol,treat other girls drinks and eat at fancy restaurant but when he's with the dumbfuck he'll keep complaining that she uses too much of his money and doesnt bring her anywhere not to mention fancy k,somewhere nice? He used to do everything for me,bring me everywhere my heart desire to go,but now all I can see is a guy who doesnt really gave much thought about me,wait. He doesnt even give any shits! Sigh* I really want to give up on this relationship,Im tired and sick. My heart is already in thousand pieces. But I dont want to go through the grueling stage again. I wish Im numb but Im not. I was just hoping if you at least care about my feelings,I dont know how to tell you all these,cause whenever I tried to tell you something you'll started screwing,asking why I brag so much. & Nowadays whenever I asked him a simple question he'll start to show his temper and get irritated easily. C'mon la. If someone asked where you go just tell that fella la. Over-react for farks ah. Maybe I should just leave ? Or wait for a miracle to happen ? Could really use a wish right now && if only the wish will come true. I miss you. The old you who loves me like noone else. The you that never ever bear to see me cry. The you who'll shed a tear for me. The you... && most of things that I love about are not there anymore.

Tunin' on Love the way you lie. My heart bleeds.

Ps,torn into 2.

XOXO,

Giselle

2010-04-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

I'm back YOOOO! (: Finally study break is just around the corner && guess what Im going for driving test on May4thh! Yahoooo! After I get ma license,I promise to fetch these people around : Sue Lyanna x) Yeeting & Her hubby The best college buddy : Bubble & Mel Mel The Awesome High school friends that I miss badly : VeKenn & TamTam The Sexiest Lais on earth : Ziyan & Annice & Amanda & Denise Of course the PANGKOR CREWSS! :D Im going to fetch Mr chan for sure :D He's been fetching me ups and downs since the day he knows how to drive. Thank you dear.

Nowadays people been asking me why am I such a fool to patch things back with ahem* (you know who) People just keep filling my head with doubts. I've been thinking alot lately too & my conclusion is everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes okay. I bet each one of you who filled my head with doubtful thoughts too have your own darkest secret & your most bewildered mistake. C'mon I aint that good okay. Noone in this world is perfect. People Im not trying to offend you. I know that you care for me & as a friend I appreciate it alot. But sometimes I just gotta follow my instinct. Hope you guys will understand. I make foolish mistakes too. So for us,Ill give it another try. At least he changed right & at least he's still the old him at heart & at least he's the one who brought back my old grin.

my baby,

Honestly Im kinda happy that we broke up. No offence,but because of that grueling stage that the both of us went through really changed our thinking alot. In a positive way lahh of course. Both of us are more mature now and we dont have to go through fights everyday && the best part is I dont have go to bed with tears. Now,I really do know how to appreciate us more compare to the old days. I always take things for guaranteed. Dear,thanks you for everything. I couldnt possibly ask for more from you. You've given me more than enough. I never knew that we actually get to revive our 4 years relationship. I love you,i mean it from the bottom of my heart.

ps,give & take.

XOXO,

Giselle (:

2010-04-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

After all the happy days. Today finally I broke down and cry. I cant believe that Im crying so hardly right now. ): Im having my stupid pt2 tmrw && something really disturbs me and I have loss my focus on studying. Now all Im doing is staring at the comp,tears flowing down my cheek & thinking why did you lie to me? Its just a small matter & you wanna lie. I dont get it. Who am I to you? I feel like as tho Im a stranger to you. You cant share everything with me ): Should I ignore everything? Like what I always did in the past? I got a very strong feeling that the past will be repeated again and Ill be breaking down soon. Again. Thank you. Im speechless. I cant believe that everything is going to be over so soon. I hope it wont. Sighhhh* Your promises are not reliable still I choose to believe. Now I ended up like this is all because of my foolishness. Believing that everything you said is true. And now Im prepared to believe whatever you said,prepared to forgive you or maybe prepared to hear the word break up...

ps,what do you want from me?

XOXO,

Giselle ):

A Very Special Day Of A Friend That I Hold-Dearly

2010-01-08T06:57:00.001-08:00

Was Cam-whoring Before Heading For Dancing Lesson :)
The Princess Of The Day :D

Today is a very special day to me! Today See Ying Bin will be turning 18. :) She's the one who kept on encourage me in everything I do. She always give good advices. She's the one who kept on encourage me to attend prom. I dont feel like going at the moment because due to some issues. && She's the one who kept giving me positive comment and giving me strength. It means a lot to me. Thanks babe. And if its not because of you I wont be winning the prom queen title. So thank you :) All the little things and single word that you said to me will stay in my heart wherever I go in this world. If I could wish for one very special thing for you,I'll wish for the smile on your face okay dear :D I want you to be happy spending every moment of your life. You can always come talk to me whenever you're facing any problems,promise I'll be there for you! You'll be forever my friend no matter where we go in this crazy world :) Last but not least,happy sweet 18th && I love you always.

ps,Im really glad that god allows our friendship to grow closer :)

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Broken Promise

2010-01-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

You lied. Again. Im not mad with who you went with. Im mad because you lied to me. How do you expect me to trust you anymore. Why cant you just be honest with me? Im speechless. You broke my heart once again. Im sorry. I give up. It hurts me deeply because I trusted you so much and you ended up lying to me. Bet this is not the first time that you're lying already. You promised me that you'll never lie to me anymore. You broke your promise. Goodbye.

ps,it ends tonight.

XOXO,

Giselle:(

Broken Trail

2010-01-05T08:49:00.000-08:00

Sitting alone in my room,

Tuning on the CD that you made specially for me as an anniversary gift two years back,

You were so special,unique by then..

But now all I can see a guy who doesnt care nor hold me tightly and never let me go anymore.

Reading through the notes that you left for me in the old days,

I felt so secure,so happy,your love once,

But now all I can feel is sorrow and pain,

I couldnt bare with the fact that you are no longer there for me anymore,

How am I supposed to love you when you are not even there.

Lying on my bed everynight wishing that all of these will be over soon,

But all I can do is to pretend,

Pretending that I am strong no matter there's a chaos in my mind,

Pretending and ignorance always has come to an end.

So here am I,

Eyes that fill with tears,

Broken heart that can never be mend,

A tired body who doesnt own a soul,

Mind that always cant get answers to all my questions...

Now another story,

Why did you do that to me?

You are another main reason that Im feeling down right now,

Moon will no longer shine,

Dawn that will no longer be awaken..

ps,everything doesnt feel right.

XOXO,

Giselle :(

I've tried

2010-01-04T12:04:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling so hungover right now but still being able to blog. Not bad huh. What do you want from me? I know Im not good enough for you but cant you see Im trying? I've already changed okay,stop asking me to change anymore. I already dont know who the hell am I anymore,what else do you want? Why is everything not enough for you? I've changed already k,dont tell me you cant see the difference in the current me. Now you want me to change even more. I dont know babe. You are like taking my love for you for granted. Please dont do that okay cause it hurts more than anything in this world. The reason Im drinking right now is because of you. You are like 2 persons. You suddenly care and suddenly just throw me off the edge and dont bother to ask if Im okay or not. I apologized already,isnt that enough for you. Stop being so rude okay. Everyone got their own prides and feelings so do I. Take it as I beg you okay,stop treating me this way. Stop making me feel like you care then leave me alone just like that okay. What am I to you? Your toy? It hurts okay. Yes I love you very much doesnt mean you got the right to treat me anyway you want. Imagine Im doing this to you. Talking to you rudely,closing your calls,Slam the phone,asking you to fark off. How would you feel? Think about it okay. Im not trying to brag or anything alright,I just want you to know how I feel.

Goshh Im really feeling dizzy now. Guess I should call it a night. Good night everyone! I love you pangkor crews :D

ps,forcing myself to forget about everything that happened cause its pointless to have it staying in my mind :(

XOXO,

Giselle :(

Dec 31st- New Year Eve

2010-01-04T11:35:00.000-08:00

Today organised a gathering for all the pangkor crews. Of course I did invite Brian and Jing Yi and Meng Kit and Xiao Teng. Went to midvalley with Jing Yi in the morning to pick up all the items that we need for the decoration. We're having candle light dinner by the way. This is my very first time decorating for a dinner thats why I need professional help from JingYi :) Thanks babe for willing to help me out. I really do appreciate it! The dinner was awesome. Too bad Jingyi, Brian,Meng Kit,Xiao Teng gotta left early. After dinner,the boys went for a walk to Kuchai to look for YauSeng. Its freaking far okay from my house to Kuchai. Mad fellas. LOL. The girls and Ah Mak sat down to chit chat and started taking pics. Semua haopos. Haha! Later on I asked my aunt if she's willing to go to Kuchai to fetch the boys back although they didnt ask me to. Pity them lah gotta walk so far. Haha! I followed my aunt to Kuchai to bring them back. Later on everyone decided to play truth or dare. Ziyan the hyper one,moved her ass right away when the music is on. Kevin did a little stripe show for everyone. LOL. Soon its going to be new year ,everyone went out to play with fire crackers. We lighted like more than 3 packs dragon eggs together each time we played. Haha! Then the whole thing will go on fire. The last one was the most chunted one,the boys lighted almost one whole box of the dragon eggs at one time. LOL. I had fun :) My mom was so cool that night,this is the freaking first time she allowed me to drink in the house,allowed me to throw dragon eggs under my neighbour's car,she didnt screw us when the fire crackers kena my dad's car,she helped Kahyee to lie to her father,she allowed everyone of us to sleep together,she frightened ziyan,she chatted with them till 3 in the morning,and told me that this is the kind of friends that I should hang out more often. LOL. Ohh she did ask me how come he has changed so much,he's like so rude nowadays. Gahh speak for him. Ishh. Watched Dance of the Dead,I finally realized that the hero is not actually sysnester gates =/ But he looks a lot like him okay. Ate ice cream 5 in the morning. Awesome,will do it more often. LOL. Then went to bed at 6 plus. Since Kevin and Ling slept on my bed already,couldnt bare to wake them up so the rest of us slept in my brother's room. I gotta slept on the floor with Jwing and AhMak. Lucky KahYee get to sleep on the bed with Xian Zhong. Almost lucky Yan slept on the fingers sofa. Haha! After lying down for some time, I couldnt stand already,went to sleep on my sister's bed in her room. Haha! I was waken up by Ziyan then went to my room and slept again. Was really tired okie. Then fetched everyone to school next morning. Gee,so many things were left at my house. Haha! It was an awesome night. Hope to do it with you guys soon! :D Im loving all the pangkor crews more and more! Went to Johor at 2. So random. LOL.

ps,Im happy for you :)

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Dec 25th-A Story Part 2

2010-01-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

''Ping,he already got a new lover..Never again will I trust anyone anymore. This is what I get whenever I trust someone. Never again will I fall for someone anymore cause I always fell for the wrong person. Shall work hard to move along with my life although it pains me deeply... Shouldnt have trusted him. Everything is just like a song. Here goes

Guy to the Girl - You Must Have Had A Broken Heart

Girl to the Guy - Outta Here

Guy to the Girl - This I Promise You

Girl to the Guy - Fallin For You (I guess)

Both - Body Language (Not really the body language okay)

Girl to the Guy- Last Christmas

Guy to the another Girl - To Be With You

Girl to the Guy - Almost Lover

Girl to herself - Over it & Move Along

ps,what a chirstmas & speechless.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Dec 22nd-The Last Day At Pangkor

2010-01-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Sand

Goodbye Blue Blue Sky

Goodbye Sea

Goodbye Birds

Goodbye Dead Corals

Goodbye Dead Starfishes

Goodbye Bicycles

Goodbye Vikri Staffs

Goodbye Beach

Goodbye Field

Goodbye Trees

Goodbye Pangkor Crews

Goodbye Pangkor =/

Hey thanks for everything alright. I had a blast at Pangkor. Cant wait to hang out with you guys soon! Thanks for taking care of me :) Sorry if I said or done something offensive. Not forgetting, I love you guys always! Thanks for leaving me sweet memories that I'll never forget for the rest of my life :)

The Pangkor Trip has officially ended but not the pangkor crews :D

ps,ended just like that. What if I said yes to your question?

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Dec 21st-The Third Day At Pangkor

2010-01-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

I never felt like this before. Once I opened up my eyes I get to see faces of my friends :D I was told that I yelled at my dearest Ziyan last night and the first thing I went to do in the morning is rush to room 14 and apologised to her. Her eyes burst into tears bet I've hurt her feelings =/ Gosh,I'm really sorry Yan. I'm such a jerk lah =/ Next time just leave me only lah k? Dont want to hurt your feelings anymore. Im sorry dear! I love you! Thanks for caring k. Today's breakfast is Shit. I've forgotten already! OOpsie! LOL. We went around Pangkor Island that day. It was fun. We went to several temples and tourist spots. After lunch we went back to our chalet. Everyone was at room 18 so I've decided to go over there and peek what are they doing after washing up. Gosh! They were all watching batman! Instead of joining them I've decided to walk over to CoralBay myself to look for my best hot buddy CHEN VE KENN! It was 2.30 in the noon and the sun was burning like fire. Haha! Couldnt believe that I actually walked from Vikri to CoralBay under such a hot weather. I can feel my skin is burning and of course my FATS! Haha! Luckily I stole Jwing's slippers if not I wonder h0w am I going to walk with my stupid sandals along the beach. After walking for like 20 minutes,I finally reached! I didnt realise that I passed by my classmates until someone yelled Sueping. Haha! It was Erika. They were having lunch at a seafood restaurant just next to CoralBay! Wow their meal was really awesome! Haha! Then I went upstairs to look for VeKenn with Te Cheng. Chen VeKenn,you owe me a big time. Haha! Because of you I m so tan now. See I love you so much! :D Hung out with them for a while then I've decided to go back because they are having plans at 4. I went for airhead thingy ride with the lovely couple. Bumped into them many times! Haha! Goshhh! I cant believe it the ride was so FUUNN! I swear I gotta bring Ziyan to try this ride. Soon I'm back. Went for canoe thingy. Gotta walk to all the end there to rent the canoe! I was the first one to reach. Im so proud of myself. LOL. Went on the canoe with Jwing. Kayaking was fun but it was really tiring. Then let Kevin they all on. The rest of us decided to walk to CoralBay to try out the airhead ride! I was the first one to reach Coral Bay! LOL. Gosh while walking to CoralBay,met this sick middle-aged guy who invite me for a swim with him. Gross. Threw him a disgust look and continued walking. Haha! Kahyee,Ziyan & I went on the ride together finally! Ziyan and Kahyee fell into the water during the ride. Then after that we were all too tired to walk back to Vikri so the brave chicken went to ask the guy if he's willing to get us back to Vikri with his speedboat and he totally agreed! YAY! 20 bucks for airhead-ride and speedboat ride was super worth! Went back to Vikri and straight went for a hot shower. After showering,you called. I sat on the bench,staring at blue sky,thinking what had go wrong between us,I just don't get it babe,I dont know,,all the yellings between us,we dont even know why we are fighting,we just dont want to let it go for nothing.. I can feel the tears touching my cheeks again. Sigh. What can I do to stop all these? Later on we went for dinner at Restaurant COCO and after dinner Yong Yeow accompanied me to CoralBay to look for my best buddy again. We drank more than half of his gold label then won his money and went back. LMAO. What a mean thing to do. Haha! I know I was about to get drunk while on the way back to Vikri but I thought I can take it. LOL. Who knows. I dont know what happened next until I opened up my eyes and you told me everything. Thanks for the wonderful night?

ps,will never forget.

XOXO,

Giselle :(

Dec 20th- The Second Day At Pangkor

2010-01-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Once I woke in the morning and I was freaking excited! Quickly went to wash up and headed to the canteen for breakfast. We had Nasi-Lemak for breakfast. The fried egg was damn tasty! Feel relief for Ling cause she's not having any hungover! Yay! Later on we went on the speed boat! WOAHHH DAMN FRIGGIN SYEOOK! The way the uncle drive can kill but it was friggin awesome! Lin ming and Khai Xian joined us for the water activities. We had so much fun on the dogs' island. LOL. We had our lunch there. We looked like some people who left stranded on an island. Haha! We went on the banana boat! It was friggin fun! Ziyan fell off early and scare the shit out of me. I thought she drowned or something until the indian fella told us that she's at the other end. Ziyan,you are damn freakin brave. You could be eaten by sharks. LOOL. Chic and I went for 6 rounds but only cost us 15 bucks. Awesome :D Went back to the chalet around 2. Everyone decided to walk to Coral Bay to rent bicycles. We walked there and gosh it was freaking far. About 20- 30 minutes walk. Guess what on the way to CorayBay,Yong Yeow received a call from KahYee. He locked Ziyan in the bathroom on purpose and forgotten to unlock it for her. LOL. Ziyan was stucked in the bathroom for like 30 mins. I guess. When we reached the place where we can rent bicycles,I was convince to rent a bike too cause I should learn how to ride and they promise to teach me. So yea,I did rent a bicycle. Once everyone paid,the sky starting to turn grey and raindrops poured down slowly. Goshh everyone cycled back to the chalet but what about me. I dont even know how to cycle =/ Thank god Jwing, Yau Seng are willing to accompany me to walk with me with my bike in the rain. I feel so bad until today. Thanks a million guys! Once we reached the chalet,they taught me how to cycle. Goshh its not as simple as what it seems. =/ Learnt in the rain. LOL. Went back to my room for a short nap while everyone went to room 15 to play truth or dare. I can hear them although its kinda far. This proves how loud they were especially Ziyan's voice. Haha! I was awake and I've decided to go for a stroll along the beach. I was tuning on broken-hearted girl while I was by the beach. Breathing in sea-breeze,sand touching my feet softly,waves hitting on gently,out of nowhere you came into my mind and tears start to roll down my face :( Until a familiar hand pat on my shoulder and told me there's no need to hide. The sunset was beautiful just like the times we used to have. Soon its dinner time and we had bbq! Everyone was so drunk and their faces are like so funny. We love to tease Wei Jun and Jin Wing the most. Haha! I've decided to drink because of you. I went for shower then when I came back I took a can with me and went to the bench and dialled Brain's number. He's always a good listener,a good friend,a good counseller :) Thanks sexy! I couldnt recall anything much. Im having a very bad headache once I opened up my eyes. It was 3. I supposed. Couldnt sleep well due to some issues. LOL. Another awesome day at Pangkor has officially ended! Gah!

Eason
Ed
Edwin
Elynn
Evelynn
Evelotte (I hope the spelling is correct) XD

ps.thanks for taking care of me and ziyan sorry for yelling. You know I love you!

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Dec 19th- The First Day At Pangkor

2010-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

Once I opened up my eyes,I've got a feeling that today will be an awesome day! I was late tho. Sorry guys and thanks for waiting for me. My mom cried once she heard ziyan told her not to worry cause she's not going to take care of me. LOL. The journey to Pangkor was friggin short to us cause Yong Yeow crapped all the way to Pangkor and he was told to stare at clouds many times by me :D We ate apples and stopped to pee. Haha. The washroom smells so unique,if you know what I mean. LOL. Soon we reached the jetty,took pictures while waiting for the so-called-ferry. Its time to get myself a pair of quality shades. My shades that Im using currently suck. Our chalet isnt like what I expected. Not that nice? LOL. But all the staffs there are friendly and the environment there was awesome. Went to wash the toilet once I got the room keys. Ziyan,Yong yeow and me slept in the same room for the first night. Room 14 :D Lucky number. LOL. After lunch everyone headed down to the beach as fast as we could. We had a blast playing with sand and water. Then went for the dinner at Restaurant COCO. I was awfully tired and hunger for food so badly and the worst part is we gotta walk to the restaurant. It takes about 15 mins walk? Ate a lot for dinner and it only costs 8 bucks per person. Super worth! Corona for dessert at room 18. LOL. I damn good girl wei :) I took a sip only. Suet ling's face is so red as if her face is going to burst soon and Ziyan the hyper one keep denying that she's not drunk. LOL. Weijun was high a little but she's under control. Jwing is turning into a shark soon. Haha! Then went back to our own rooms and headed to bed. Ziyan was damn friggin high. She cant control herself and she just cant stop laughing. LOL. Thought we all can call it a night until I heard someone calling my name. It was Kahyee. Suet Ling's in trouble. She's feeling very sick and she's trying to puke. That's how we met Uncle Tomato. We helped Suet Ling from 9 till 11 plus. Went to the canteen for supper with Kevin,Yi Xuan,Chic Chic,Yong Yeow,Yau Seng & Ah Mak. Around 1 the first awesome day at Pangkor has officially ended =/

ps,3 more days left =/

XOXO,

Giselle :)

The Warning

2009-12-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

This is a warning to you out there who showed my parents my blog and my facebook profile and give negative comments about me to my parents. Dont let me know who you are alright. Mind your own business. Stop being so lifeless dude. Get a damn LIFE! Im sorry for being rude alright but you guys really did hit a nerve of mine.

ps,get a life!

XOXO,

Giselle :)

A Story

2009-12-23T01:35:00.000-08:00

This is a story of my friend who just came back from Pangkor too :) Names cant be mentioned. LOOL. Sowie cause I dont think thats very nice but she do allowed me to post about it. This is how it goes.

''I just came back from Pangkor,you too right. Hmm,something unexpected happened lah dear. Do you know that I was drunk for 2 nights and when I opened up my eyes,it was the same guy who's lying next to me,but nothing happened between us. You know whats the thing lah. LOOL. I thought that he cares lah dear,I've fallen for him. I thought that I can actually trust him. I dont know lah babe,I dont know what's on his mind. His kiss was so special. He told me that he loves me. He asked can we be couple because there's this love feeling,but I was so confused at that moment. Then the very next morning,he can acted like nothing happened between us at all. How does he do that. I wonder how. Maybe he told me that he loves me its just because of lust and not love. I dont know dear. This is why I called you. I thought that everything was fine. Everything feels so alright that night babe but now No. I felt like I've been played. Again. He sounded so confident,he sounded so convincing when he told me ''I love you''. His kiss,his hug,his touch,his voice made me feel so safe. Guess everything to him is just lust. Im stucked once again. Its obvious that he doenst even like me. Guess I shall leave everything behind''

Go tune on the song ''Last Christmas'' by Ashley Tisdale and you guys will actually know how does it feels like.

This is what she told me,never trust anyone so easily dear.

Pangkor trip was awesome :D Photos will be uploaded soon!

ps,cheer up babe,thats not love alright.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Faith..

2009-12-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

I'll be waiting patiently for that day to come. That's a promise to us and to myself. This shows the deepness of my love to you. Times and times you've let me down,times and times I've ruined everything,still I choose to believe. So shall we start a new relationship all over again? & just let the past be the past and start all over again,perhaps? Maybe we just need time to break off the thick wall between us and realised that we were actually just standing next to each other all these while...

ps,I dont care how tired and sick I'll be cause I believe in us.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

You Cant Win 'Em All

2009-12-17T05:54:00.000-08:00

I didnt say that okie.X) The Girls :DShe won the best transformation award :D

Our Sexy Pose. X)

They're AWESOME! Support them alright!

Finally get to know how prom night feels like. What a night for me! Annice just left,Kenn cried,Ziyan cried & once I walked into the ballroom I saw something I dont want to see. It's too late for me to revive things. I was actually sobbing at the stairs until I heard someone called for my name. I was the nominist for the prom queen. Shocking huh. I was questioned 'which boy in CHS that I would love to go on a date on a sexy day?'' The first person that came in mind was you! I wanted to tell the whole world that how badly I want you,but my fear hold me back. I was too afraid that you might reject me. My fear made me lose you forever. Im so farking regret right now. If I could trade prom queen for you,I would definately do that,but everything was too late. You've changed & it hurts me so much to witness you changed with my eyes. Frankly,I wasnt happy being as the prom queen. I know myself that the crown doesnt belong to a loser like me. Still part of me was happy lah. LOOL. The crown made me lose the one that I love forever. Oh well,you cant win them all. More pictures will be uploaded soon. Congrats to Ziyan for winning the best transformation award. The prom committees did a extremely great job :D So this is the end of high school life...

To all my dearest friends who supported me,
Babes,I adore you guys very much. Thanks for being there whenever Im in need. Thanks for losing your voice just for me. Thanks for voting me. If it wasnt for you guys,I wont be here. I really do appreciate every single thing and word that you guys've done and told me. You guys mean the world to me. Soon,everyone of us will be taking different path of our lives =/ I hope that we still get to meet each other often and our friendship will still remain the same. I love you guys. Seriously! I wont forget every single one of you. Now,its your turn to call me whenever you are a sober. My love for you is more than words. Im sorry if Im mean at times,I know Im a nasty person. Please forgive me & please just tell me straight in my face whenever I've done things that upset you guys. So that I could change to a better person and a friend to you guys. Im sorry if I sucks in expressing my feelings,all I know is that I love you guys very very much! Kenn,cheer up alright. Annice,Ill b missing you=/ Gave a rose to Matau D for being such a great friend :D The family big hug was awesome and it was the warmest hug that I ever had! Guys thanks for letting me whats the true defination for friendship and warm hug :)

ps,taking few days off from all these craps. Leave me a msg & Ill respond asap.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Im Such A Failure

2009-12-14T10:47:00.001-08:00

I failed in playing the role as a lover

I failed in playing the role as a friend

I failed in playing the role as a daughter

I failed in playing the role as a 17th years old girl

I failed in playing the role as MYSELFF!

I absolutely succed in playing the role as the BROKEN-HEARTED GIRL!

Everything about us ends tonight. This is what you want. Guess I just have to face the fact and move on. Sighh. Im such a failure lah. Screw life! Screw love! Screw me! Screw everything that pains and hurts me deeply.

I prayed and hoped everyday for you to come back to me,

You are in my mind all day and night,

We used to shine,used to be above the world,

But now everything is just falling apart,

You're no longer there for me,

Should I just walk away or stay to hope?

Im torn into 2 because of you.

Im falling fast far down.

Come back to me?

Hung out with Goldie,Jingyi,Brain and Mr.crabbie.

ps,shall protect my heart with a hard shield and never let anyone enter ever again.

XOXO,

Giselle =/

2009-12-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

Arghh. Let me count,less than 3 more days to prom. & yes here I am,not prepared at all. I haven even get my clutch,my heels,my everything except for my dress. My dress is still with the taylor. I hope its done. Ishh! PEOPLE,the reason that Im blogging right now is because I was hoping you guys to vote for Tan Pei Yoong as the prom king of the year :D Thank you. Lovess! && I just viewed the video of me,Matau & Ann practicing for our graduation day couple months ago. Awh.

I was thinking about what my dad had just ask me. & I really do think it's a great chance for me to like explore this whole damn world and to kick off as a great start of my life. Gotta convince my mom. She's not that happy with that idea. She was moody throughout the dinner once my dad mentioned things like that. Mummy,I know you care a lot about me,I know you love me very much,but sometimes tying your daughter to you all the time is not a good thing. Hope you'll sometimes at least let me go? I will have to leave sooner or later. Just trust me? You know I'll be sad leaving you too,but people sometimes just gotta learn how to let go. The reason I want to leave is because of you and I want to escape from all of these tears,heartache,complications... Of course part of me would want me to stay because of you and my friends. What if I really leave,it will be all of a sudden and it'll be very soon. I guess. Oh well,I dont know yet eh. Will see how things flow.

ps,to leave or to stay?

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Over You? Not.

2009-12-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

You Used To Love Me Wearing This =/Malu Pulak x) Adored by CSP Lots <3 My Ugly Face!Finally Lyann and I get to hang out together! It's been ages since we last hung out. We went to the curve today. Had our so-called-lunch at peddington pancake house. OMGG! Having your meal there is like having a fabulous meal at heaven. Haha! Seriously you guys their desserts there are goddamn delicious. You can just drool by looking at their menu. Went for a walk around the curve && we watched Ninja Assassin. It's a not bad movie,I supposed yet its very very violent and gross and scary! You can see blood splashing every 10 mins in the movie. Eww. The cinema was on fire due to Rain for being too hot. His body OMG!! HOT HOT HOT! Later night went to starbucks with my smoker cousin brother. LOL. He's going to Aussie next year. Awh. Will miss him. LOL.

It's been 3 years 11 months babe. I guess. I know you dont give a damn about it already but I dont know why I still can't forget this date. I dont know. The past still haunts me until today. I can hardly sleep well everynight. What can I do to reverse the time? What can I do to photoshop our past? You've changed my dear,even you know that. I dont know what else to say. You seem to be so happy with your new life,you have what you always wanted now but Im not one of the things that you always wished for. Im happy to see you happy. Thats all I asked for right now. Happy anniversary? If there's a chance for you to seek what's hidden beneath my heart,you'll cry because my heart is full of you. If there's a chance for me to seek what's hidden beneath your heart,I'll respond the same way too because not even a footprint of mine is left inside your heart. Still I want to tell you that I love you & I dont want to be alone.

Shall find you in piggie land eh Brian? LOL. SLyann,cant wait for our next outing. give ♥

ps,I wish Im dead by now.

XOXO,

Giselle =/

2009-12-09T19:01:00.000-08:00

Mr.Crabbie,Jing Yi,Sexy old days..<3
Saving For The Burning Ceremony !Finally get to discard all my reference books! Haha! Piles and piles of books were stacked highly. LOL. I've found back lots of memories. The old days.. Oh well,thats all in the past already. Shall force myself to stop recalling all the pasts. What is done is done. Sighh* Oh well,I hung out with Sexy Brain,Mr.Carbbie and Miss tall JingYi today. Went to one u. OMGG! That Mulan movie is freaking goddamn sad!! Its just so I dont know. Touching perhaps? This is my first time bursting into tears while watching movie. Damn humiliating. LOL. Jingyi is tall by the way. I was the shortest person of the night=/ Now I know how does it feels like to be short. WTH. No offence. Just kidding only okay! The fried rice that I had was disgusting. Im not kidding. Im cereal x) Surprisingly my mom didnt screw me or anything when I got home. I was late. LOL. Thank god. She didnt even call me. Guess what. Goldie came and stalked me in the middle of the night. LOL. Sort of. I was standing by the window of my room and he's just waiting outside my window in his car. Haha! I studied CHINESE by the way :D I am so proud of myself but I ended up camwhoring myself. Haha! I thinked I had fun tonight. LOL. give ♥- Mr.Crabbie who allowed me to pinch him throughout the movie & Brain for telling lame jokes & Jingyi for nice meeting you & Goldie for being too takhan. XD Kiding lah! && please double-checked if you receive any calls when you are sleeping cause you might received video calls. wth. x)

Goodbye my almost lover,goodbye my hopeless dreams. Im trying not to think about you. Im happy for you.

ps,congrats for having a new girl in your life.

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Drunked At Noon,maybe?

2009-12-08T11:26:00.000-08:00

Adore You Guys :D Happy birthday Mat. I have faith that your relationship with your baby will last forever :D

Finally left with only chinese paper. Hung out with Crystal,Tamtam & Kenn again. We actually planned to go to the curve then dinner at alexis,bangsar. Guess what. Plan failed. I must admit mostly its because of me :/ Im really sorry guys. Never again will I go to the curve again! Especially red box. Damn M-A-L-U! I puked at the red box once and outside cineleasure another time. I can see the rice,fish eggs,fish & chips everything together. LOL. EWWW. I did something really dumb today :/ I just wanna thank you guys for taking care of me,I know it's not easy to take care a drunk bitch,especially me. LOL. I learnt my lesson by the way. First,always let your friends confiscate your cell before you're drunk. Secondly,never sing when you are about to get drunk cause it sounds really awful. Thirdly,find a better place to puke. Fourth,dont friggin drink when you're emo. Fifth,never ever eat sushi when you're still feeling hungover. Sixth,never sneak liquor into redbox! Went to Kenn's house and slept for kinda long. LOL. I'm sowie I didnt know that my dad's already reaching :/ And plss dont stay mad at me. BOOM BOOM POW!

Guess what,I've missed my good pal,mat's 17th. Im really sorry dude. Happy sweet 17th alright. Thanks for being there everytime Im in need. You are the one who's giving me good advices and guiding me back to my life. You always told me that there's more to life,and yea. I guess you are right babe. Seriously,you've been a very very great friend of mine,and Im really happy to know you. Althought we knew each other since we're like 10 or 11,but we never talked until the day we grew closer which is when we're 15? I guess. Haha! Anyways,must always call me whenever you are feeling free,sad,down,miserable,happy,drunk? LOL. Just dial my number whenever you are looking for someone to listen to your brags or whatever lah. Haha! Last but not least,thanks once again for everything,if it's not because of you,I bet I will still be stucked and still feeling so dead everynight. Happy 17th birthday MATAU D! Im happy to see you finally found the right girl :D Love you much. Friends forever!

ps,should I go to prom?

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Dec 6th - The Day That'll I Never Forget

2009-12-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

I did something really foolish today. I told him everything. :/ brave or foolish?

ps,I understand :/

XOXO,

Giselle :/

Studying at Kenn's place or Redbox,perhaps?

2009-12-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

Fabulous People Eating Fabulous Ice-cream By The Fabulous Roadside x) Looked Nice But It doesnt Gotta Taste Nice Except For The Oysters :D Food That Makes Me FAT!

A Proof That We Tried To Study :)My Dearest Chen XXXX :D

Dec 5th :)

Thinking that today will be another emo day when I woke up at 2 in the noon. Then I've decided instead of stucking at home being a loser,why dont I go over to my bitching-partner VeKenn's house to study. And yes I went over to his place. Guess what,we tried to study but it didnt work out like the way we thought so. We've decided to go over to one u :D Supposingly we plan to chill at laundry but nah. We did something more useful. Haha! We went for dinner at some chinese restaurant. OMG! The food there was freakin nice! Then from one u we gotta walked to the curve. GODDAMNIT! Idoitic Kenn didnt tell me it's actually that far. After walking for some time,it isnt that far. Haha! Crap all the way there. We went to red box instead of laundry:D OMGG! I sang wei. Cant believe that I S-A-N-G! It's a goddamn big deal for me okay cause I never sang in front of my friends before,not even my closest friends! Thanks to Kenn. He's the one who gave me the courage to sing. Love you babe! The buffet there was like notIt bad? I supposed. With 50 bucks and you'll get to eat all the oysters you want. It's super-worth,but too bad. We had our dinner =/ Love the duet for an-jing that kenn and I sort-of-created? LOL. We ordered beer but we didnt drink. Instead of drinking it,we took out beer bottles walked from the curve all the way to ou,and watered all the plants by the road side. LOL. We wanted to try smtg stupid which is break the bottles in the parking lot,but the idoitic guard was staring at us,as though we're about to make love in the parking lot. Haha! I had fun that night :D Thanks a million babe. Never ever trust your kids if they told you that they are about to study at their's friends' place. LMAO.

ps,give love - ♥. It's for you Kenn :)

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Scar

2009-12-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

Can I know what have I done to make you treat me this way? What have I done wrong? Im trying my best already. What have I done to make myself deserving all of these shits? Sigh. This is not what I want. I thought things are getting better for me at first but not like this :/ Sometimes I just dont know what have I done to make myself deserving all these shits. Im only 17. & I've to go through all of these? Why can't I just be like a typical 17 years happy girl. Facing so much complication in my life right now. Kenn just asked me am I over him? Nope. I dont think so. I want to but I cant. Whatever Kenn told me was so goddamn true. I dont even think that I can be able to love one this deep anymore. You left a scar deep inside my heart and I'm very sure that it'll remain there forever. There's nothing that anyone can do to cover up that scar. Sigh. Do you know that because of you there's a scar on my wrist. & I'm tired of lying telling everyone that the scar was an accident. Do you know how pain is it to be like treated however the person that you deeply love want all the time. Im not your toy okay. Sighh. I dont know why after you played with my heart,you lied to me,every piece of shit that you have done to me,still I miss you finally. I miss your laughter,your voice,your touch,your lame jokes,your angry face... I dont know why am I crying right now.. Tears? Im so tired of all these friggin tears. Numb? I dont think so. Is this love or lust? Maybe I've learnt a lesson that I'll never forget. Baby,I miss you..I dont want to be without you my baby..I know I'm being a fool, a dumbo, an idoit, a brainless girl. God,what've I done? I just wanna be happy,I just want him to treat me nicely from his heart. Is that too much to ask for? I dont know. Why is everything so hard for me? Why is everything so unfair? I am pathetic. Cant even deal with my life. What the FARK is wrong with me. Im messing up with everything in my lifee:/ Sighh. I wish I'm dead by now! Really. Im still not over you. Brian,wake up! Save me :/ I dont have the guts and strength to face all of these anymore.

It's in white because my world is only left with black and white.

ps,never again will I let anyone in my heart again.

XOXO,

Giselle :(

My Very First Time Hanging Out With TPY!

2009-12-04T02:58:00.000-08:00

This is my first time sort of hang out with TPY. He's supposed to be here by twelve,but I woke up at 11.45. >Teehees* Went straight to bath and yea still got plenty of time to go online :D Then went to parkson to fetch TPY to the taylor near my house. He's like some shopaholic guy. Seriously. Hmm,he looks pretty good in his tux,just a bit off-size. Bet he'll look great after tighten it. My turn! Went to tighten my prom dress. Teehee! TPY damn fake pulak. Act like some innocent kid in front of my mom. Scare the hell out of me,thinking that TPY is this kind of person ke. LMAO. Later on,we went back to parkson for some drinks. Met this irritating sales girl kept asking me to try her product and some facial treatment thingy. She can talked damn fast. LOL. Cant stop talking. Went to look for the crocs shirt that sexy saw. It was pink with stripes,but too bad a lil offsize for sexy. Damn weird weih when he tried on the shirt. LOL. Went back downstairs and met with the super irritating sales girl again. Cant help but to smile and walked away quickly. I know I'm mean but seriously you guys she's so goddamn irritating. She cant understand a simple NO word. Haha! Sowie =/ Went to Leo's. We sat down and talked about everything in life for 2 hours. Had a great time talking to him. We bought the same cover but different colour for our phones. It's kinda retarded. Haha. Got back home around 5. Although we get to hang out for not long,but I had a great time :) Hope to hang out with you again soon. Everyone thought that we're couple == WTH. LMAO.

Oh well,have fun working out :) && thanks for making my day

List of things that you are ought to do :

Bring me go swimming
A nice and exotic meal
Teman me go have a temporary tattoo
Teman me to the beach! I still rmb that :D
Cheer up!
Stop spending
Study your chemist!
There're still more let me go figure out first. x)

Yes,I was mad at you last night. I just hate it whenever Im trying to tell you something serious or important,you're trying to ignore and avoid. To me,it's freaking rude. Cause it's really important to me.

ps,we talked about you today & yea I miss you :/

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Woohoo*

2009-12-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

This is what happened if you go out with a bunch of gays x)

My very first ear-hole!

Finally left with 2 more papers! Hung out with weehoong,kaheng and goldie last night. Was friggin tired. Almost fell asleep at newway. Supposed to go to de'licious at KL but someone complained that there're too many road blocks on the way and it's not that safe to go there. Oh well,haha! Finally get to hear weehoong's singing,not bad I must admit. Pretty good. Haha. Unfortunately I barely know all the songs that they sang. Sad to see KahEng emo :/ Never seen him like this before. Cheer up alright :D I thinked I had fun. Haha! Guess what,I'm getting used to my curly hair! LOL. My formal best tuition teacher came over today and she's getting married on the 7th of Jan! She told me stories about how she and her husband met,how romantic is that. I wish I get to meet my future husband like that too :D Shall dream on. Mom cant stop screwing me today. Dont know whats wrong with her. Sighh. Might be meeting the long-time-no-see Sashimi Min tomorrow and I can hardly wait to see her. Sexy is coming over tomorrow and we shall get our prom dress and coat done :D Both facing the same problems. Haha! There's nothing much to blog about nowadays. Things are getting better in my life. I guess. Haha! Monday going to alexis with Crystal,Kenn,Tamtam! Tomorrow going to alexis with Min,her baby and me. TPY is supposed to go but he has to visit his grandma. So too bad :/Goldie brought brownies and chocolate cheese cake for me! Yay! Cause he came over just to get his wallet,he left it in my bag last night. And yea,he brought my fav cake for me. How nice of him. Haha! Thanks dude! Kaheng,please cheer up alright. Anyone who doesnt know how to appreciate you is a jerk & she is not worth it okay. Just learn to let go and you'll find someone better out there. Like what you always tell me :D I finally got my both ears pierced! Thanks to the happy3friends! Love you guys much. TTFN! Sounds so bimbotic wei. Haha!

I'm missing VeKenn,Sherren,Chicyan,Manda,Annice,Megan,SueLyann,YeeTing,Marie,Samantha,MinHui :D Hope to see you guys soon!

ps,friends & desserts are everything in my life right now :)

XOXO,

Giselle is in a good mood :)

2009-11-25T20:07:00.000-08:00

To my dearest special someone here,

The reason I am writing this post is because I know you've been feeling really down and unhappy recently therefore, this post is specially dedicated to you as I really care and love you. Even though we dont used to hang out as often as we used to anymore but no matter what, we would still be there for each other when one calls for help.

Right hun? (:

Well, remember those times when I broke down due to the same reason as you now? And you've been there for me? Through hours, minutes and seconds of talk on the phone together? (: Well, all those little things you've done for me, I truly appreciate it and this time, I would like to and willing to be here for you through all the bad times you're facing now.

Darling, lets face the fact now that this guy doesn't worth a feeling from you. I mean, you really do deserve someone much better. Someone who treats you well, care for your feelings and trust you. Please, you're with him more than years now and he still doesn't know who to trust better? That's a lie.

Who can be as patient as you when you're being treated this way and all you do is to cry it out and not say a word? Which girl can be as strong as you? Keeping this love and never throw it away and still continuing to trust him and believe in him? It can sound really stupid and good at the same time as you can actually do this.

But do you think all those tears you've cried worth it?

You and I know that he have changed into someone else. He's not like what he used to anymore. Someone who used to love you so deep that will never let you go? But anyway, everyone change, people change. And it only due to a better person or worst. And there's nothing I can say if you want to continue hurting yourself by waiting for him as it is your choice. We cannot decide anything for you but only to advice you.

But since your decision is to move on with your life then do so. Dont look back at the past anymore. Dont be sad over what happened but happy that it have happened because finally, you realized that someone you love did not appreciate every thing you've done for him. Why love someone who doesn't treat you equally?

We girls have a value in life and that doesn't mean those guys can treat us however they want to alright? If he's not the right one, why still stay? Isn't it? We deserve to be treated in a better way. Yes, relationships have their ups and downs but not over-boarded actions like this. Misunderstanding can occur but not by trusting another fully and doesn't giving you a chances to explain yourself..

No matter, just know that I'll be here for you. (: Remember that you're a really good friend and a good girlfriend, so, find someone else who's better. Like what my classmates always say the sea is big, since this fish isn't the right appetite anymore, throw it back to the sea!

Hun, I love you and seeing you hurt like this does not make me any happy. So, please stay strong and believe in yourself. Have a good rest and have a new kick as a start today. Work yourself up into someone who's stronger and not cry over such little things!

It is not the end of the world because you have lost him. Take it as an experience, an advantage for yourself in order to be stronger to face anything else that you may face in future. A stronger person inside and out and not let others take advantages of you. Alright? Believe in yourself, that is the most important thing in life. If you believe, anything can happen in life.

In conclusion, remember that when you feel empty and felt that the world is betraying you, think of the people you have who have made your life colorful and the bright future you'll achieve in future. People who believe in you and trust you for who you are, are the people who's truthful towards you. Alright?

No forgetting,
I love you! (:

Breaking Down Soon.

2009-11-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

How am I supposed to change when something like this happened :/ Ziyannnnn,save me. I dont know what to do anymore. Do you know how does it feels like to be soo goddamn confused. I've got lied by you people again and again. How do you expect to trust one again. One is like my very good friend,then the another one is a guy who hurted me most,then the other one is the witness. I'm sorry to say this but I don't want to trust you anymore. I'm really sorry to say this but I think you're the one who told him craps about me. The story that you told me is so suspicious. You told me you went to the club with him only once yet people saw he always fetched you home. I treat you as one of my very good friend and is this how you treat me? I dont want to know anything already alright. Hope you know. I'm really sorry babe. Everyone is telling me different stories && I dont know who to trust. Im breaking down already. Im so lost. Can someone just tell me the truth. Spent the whole night thinking. I dont know... Sexyyy,save meeee! I dont want to stay in this kind of world anymoree. Get me outta here! =/ Need a shoulder to cry on soo much right now. The world is like throwing me off the edge right now. You guys broke my heart into million pieces and you guys left a deep scar in my heart. Wish someone would tell me I'm fine and my days will shine soon. Arghhh. I hate all of you who turn me into this.

ps,i need you guys so much right now zy & tpy :/

XOXO,

Giselle:/

Betrayed?

2009-11-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

ADD-MATHS! I SCREWED UP MY ADD-MATHS PAPER 2!! ISHH! What can I do to change things? Arghhhh. 4 hours break with Ziyan. She knew something happened. She can see it from my face. What a nice friend :D I talked to SueLyann straight after my add-maths paper 1. I can't control my feelings anymore. Who the hell is Giselle? Who the hell is Sueping? After sitting in front of the mirror for one hour and looked into my own eyes,I thinked about all the evil thing that I've done. I don't even know who am I anymore. I want to be the old sueping that I used to be. She can be happy for no reason all the time. I want to find the old sueping again. I realised it's so hard to be happy nowadays. Sighh. I call myself a nasty bitch and a satanic girl now. Who am I? Anyone would just get me outta here and make me into the old sueping that everyone used to know once. Life is full of darkness and been betrayed again and again. This is life,I guess. I don't know who to trust anymore. Everyone is telling me different stories. I dont know. All I know is that I can't face the fact that the both are doing this shit to me. I trusted you babe. Sighh. I dont want to know anymore && I dont know how long I can stay like this. Everyone around me is like putting a mask on. Babe,why did you lie to me?? I dont know what are you up to,but I trusted you a lot okay. I dont know who's the real liar and who's telling the truth. I don't want to know anymore already okay. Enough is enough. Last but not least,are we friends or foe?

Went out to yum-cha with Goldie Fishy. Then called Kah Eng along. There's also these 2 guys who I dont know thier names. I thinked is Nigel and the other one is something kenn. Haha. We went to Island Cafe. I wanted to go to Bangsar but they complained that there're too many road blocks there on the way. So didnt get to go there. Sat down and listen to them chat for like more than an hour. I guess. It's fun to listen to guys chat. I mean like the way they talked is super funny. Haha! Then goldie brought me go longkai. Guess what. We stayed on the road for like almost 2 hours & we wanted to pee like hell. We saw an AHKUA! His/her denim mini is like super short. LOL. I had fun by the way :D Next time must bring me go drifting k? && people,always remember to pee before you long kai k? Cause you'll never know what might happen. X) Don't end up like me and goldie. Goldie,sowie for lying. It's for your own good kay. Haha! It's dangerous to go to the petrol station alone during midnight. Thanks for everything and it's nice seeing you.

ps,betrayed by the people that i loved :/ && good luck in your breakfast tmrw TPY! :D

XOXO,

Giselle :)

I Just Wanna Be Happy

2009-11-24T01:21:00.000-08:00

Today paper was moral. Not bad. I have to say. I'm so proud of myself,I didnt cheat. LOL. Unlike someone outta here. *ahem. Tomorrow paper is add.maths and I think i can commit suicide already. Supposed to have someone over here to teach me,but he couldnt make it. Couldnt blame him too cause it's not his fault. Sigh* I'm having a bad day too. I'm having add.maths tomorrow and I'm still not a little over that bastard when I saw him. I dont know why. Sigh. But he seems to be so happy without me. Ish. Trying my best to ignore him. Tamtam didnt get to tell teacher that her left boob's itchy. So it's a good thing you know. Haha! Bet that slut cheated again. Damn freaking unfair! Who cares. We people like us are not like her,we dont have to cheat (: SPM 5 more days to go! Then we can dance our ass off everynight and drink all night! Can't wait till then. I can't wait to go into college! Can party everynight! x) Go tune on I love college! I had that song in my the so call i-touch thing at my blog. LOL.

Now another story,I don't feel like going prom! I know it might sounds stupid but it's because of a guy. I bet my heart will crash and break into pieces if I'm going that night. I just can't do it. Maybe I'm not strong enough to face the fact that he's in love with someone else. Sighh. I dont know!! It's just so heartbreaking whenever I started thinking of you liking someone else. I know it's stupid and yea. Even myself know it is. Arghhhhhhhhhh. I dont know lah and I dont want to know anything anymore. All of these it's just too heartbreaking and I dont want to play a broken-hearted girl =/ Hope you'll get to notice me one day standing behind you all these while. Go listen to you belong with me and you'll know.

Sexy TPY,I'm sowie if I've done something wrong causing you wanting to die or I spoiled your mood. Cheer up =/ C.Megan & Giselle are facing the same problems together. Not exactly the same but almost alike lah. Sigh* Be strong kay? It hurts me to see the both of you in such bad mood and I can't really do anything bout it. Last but not least,C.Megan I love you babe & go make the first move before everything it's too late.

ps,everyone is having a bad day =/

XOXO,

Giselle :(

So Long Straight Hair!

2009-11-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

After having rebonded straight hair for so many friggin years. I've decided to curl my hair. And yes,here I am with my new curly hair. LOL. I admit that even myself prefer my old rebonded straight hair but who cares. Sometimes you just gotta try new things in your life. You'll never know if you never try. Life will be ordinary if you don't experience new things. && leading an ordinary life is a crime okay. So always make sure that your life is not ordinary and dead hell boring. Still can't believe that my rebonded straight hair is long gonee. Poff* and left with only curly hair. I kinda like it though although it ain't as nice as my straight hair, cause it kinda gives me a new image and enable me not to think about the past that often. :D Actually I wanted to cut short,something like rihanna in the umbrella's music video but nah. I got the hair doesn't mean I'll get the Rihanna's look right? LOL. That's what my dearest annice told me and I thinked she's super-duper right about it. Thank god I asked for her opinions first before I went to the saloon. That night I talked to Kaisheng too. Woah. It's been so long since we last talked. He's still the same,it's just that somewhere inside him became more mature unlike the old kiddo KS we used to know anymore. LMAO. Oh and Crystal got herself a new name,Megan. It suits her well. It sounds so sexy by the way. LOL. C.Megan petpet :D I would like to thank my ugly partner. Thanks for telling me that I should always think before I do anything. Time is not everything. So never ever rush into things. I'll always bear that in mind. Although we knew each other for not long,but I can see that you're truly a good friend. Hope things work out between you and you know who. LOL. It's late and I shall tuck into bed soon! Toodles!

Shall come and find you in LALA land now Mr.sexy TPY. LOL.

ps,bye bye straight hair ;)

XOXO,

Giselle :)

Life is not perfect,so deal with it.

2009-11-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

Today is just another ordinary yet complicated day again. Like always. You called and I get so messed up again. Sigh. When can i get to overcome all my complicated feelings. If you still care or love me,why can't you just said so? Yet you gotta act as if you still care. Feeling so complicated and messed up. Do you know how does it feels like? Oh well,guess this is just life. Life is not perfect we just gotta deal with it. Decisions decisions. Decisions is a major part of everyone's life. We gotta decide in every single thing we do. & whenever we decide an answer,we can't change it. We can't reverse the past. That's the suckest thing of making decisions. We just gotta move on in every decisions that we decide. It pains,it hurts like hell,it makes you cry everynight,it makes you feel so dumb,it makes you feel so alone,it suffers but there's nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is put a big grin on our face and move on. Although everytime you get to see me with the big smile on my face,but do you know how does it feels like inside my heart? Nope. you don't. That's the main problem. sigh* Oh well,I shall cherish every moment of my life. If this is what god gave me then I shall appreciate what i have right now. I'm not going to be so foolish like how i used to and let things just slipped away easily. I'm swear on my life that I'm not going to let things like that happened again. Life is short and imperfect,just deal with it and appreciate what chu got right now. :D & you'll get to know how lucky and happy you are.

ps,i love you sexy C.MEGAN. x) will appreciate you till the day i die.

XOXO,
Giselle :)

Feelin So Alive Again

2009-11-19T08:57:00.000-08:00

He texted me today and told me that we're through. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore because some bastards told him shits about me. (FARK WHOEVER YOU ARE WHO TOLD HIM THAT I WAS DRUNK AT THE HOTEL,I WASNT EVEN DRUNK). Oh well,life goes on. Like always. Now I've finally got what I want,I dont have to stay hanging like how I used to anymore. It's consider a good thing for the both of us. It pains me,but still I've decided to carry with my life without you in it anymore. I did promise my dearest PetPet Crystal Chen not to keep in touch with him anymore because he's becoming an ASS & he's not worth it. My one and only vagina chen,I'm not going to break my promise :D Love me? LOL. Ohh,I might be having a burning ceremony at my place right after SPM. Will reconfirm with you guys again. So don't throw away those reference books that you hated most. Save it for the burning ceremony. 'He looked like some half-cooked potato.' nice description from Erika's bf. LMAO.

My dearest Sexy TPY,
Thank you for always being there whenever I'm feeling lost,complicated,sick,sad,happy,excited all the time. You helped me out a lot and I couldnt possibly ask for more from you. Thanks for always listening to my brags and my cries. You always made my day. Cheer up alright :D Don't try to think too much. Hmm,I dont know what to say. I just wanna thank you once again,and I promise that I'll always be there for you whenever you're in need. I promised:) Last but not least,you're a great guy and you deserve to be happy all the time alright :D Thousand of hugs for you.

Crystal : Thanks for pointing me the way out from this sucky world. I heart you!
Crush : I think I do have feelings for you and you're just so different compare to the others. I don't have the courage to tell you this =/

ps,loving my new life,cherish every moment.

XOXO,
Giselle:)

Popiah Day !

2009-11-14T07:11:00.000-08:00

Today Ann and me went to Chicyan's place today. Wow! Veggies! We had tons of fun today. && i get to study too. LOL. We took a lot of retarded pics and plan to fill up our absolute retards album in Facebook. Oh well,chicyan was the main model among the 3 of us. Haha! I ate 4 meals at her house within 8 hours. And all meals involve POPIAH! James and Jun Yong came over for a while too,but they cant stay for long =/ These are only part of the pics that we took today,others are still with Ann. Ann looked so FRIGGIN HOTT! Ziyan looked so SEXAAY! Last but not least,this will be annice and my very first day of liking POPIAH! What a POPIAH-DAY!

ps, I'm sorry if I've been a bit too much about that post. I've deleted it. I'm sorry.

XOXO,

Giselle :D

I'm Sorry Babe.

2009-11-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

I was browsing some random ppl's blogs. Then i've found yours. I read through everything. My heart sinks like how your heart sinks when i realized that you're letting in pain and sorrow in your heart babe. Why didnt you talk to me? Why didnt you share with me about all your problems? You were always there for me whenever I'm feeling down and I feel so useless when I know that as a good friend of yours I'm not there whenever you're feeling so miserable. I'm sorry babe. I didnt know that you're going through all these pains. I hope that you would just dialled my number if you're feeling moodless or sucky. We're bestie remember? So must let me know what's going on with your life alright. My heart crashed when i read your blog. I thought you were doing fine all these while because you're smiling all the time when the last time we met each other. Please don't keep everything to yourself alright my dear. Last but not least,we're bestie, bestie stay together and together we're strong. I love you babe. Trust me,your days will shine soon. Your fav colour,purple :D

ps,friends forever.

XOXO,

Giselle.

Changes In My Life

2009-11-09T02:01:00.000-08:00

WOW. Cant believe im blogging right now. LMAO. I USED TO think that blogging is kinda stupid cause you're like telling the whole world about your life. But USED TO okie. Things changed so do human. Oh well, my life changed too. A lot. After the day he left me alone in this farking dark world. ALONE. I've actually waited for you,hoping that things will change and hoping for a miracle to change things. But,after wasted for like 2 months,you're still the same,everything's still the same. I cried over you,i hurt myself because of you,i got drunk because of you,i smoked because of you,i hate myself for letting you go,i hate myself for hating you. I tried everything,or perhaps i didnt try that hard enough to make you notice me. All i want is to make you take a look at me for one moment and think back everything that we've gone through together. Is that too much to ask from you? Sigh* Oh well,life goes on babe. We gotta move on with our life no matter what. You changed so why can't i change too? There's one thing that i can't change is the scars on my wrist. Just let the scars remind us that the past is real and remind me not to make the same mistake that i've done again. This's my first time blogging. Dont blame me if it's a bit retarded. I'm supposed to be studying right now with manda but we ended up at the cyber. tsktsk* LOL.

PS,life goes on(:

XOXO,

Giselle.